hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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