i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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