it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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