These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
