called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
