Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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