Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
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I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
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We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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