So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
