its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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