Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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