I wish my penis had an off switch
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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