she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
