How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize