I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just threw up on my dentist
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
ok first of all what the fuck
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize