Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
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I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
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Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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