North Korea, Best Korea!
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
