Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
