Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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