just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
