loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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