Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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