Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
