when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
