so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you traded sex for a burrito?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
