Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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