and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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