I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize