do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
