My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
