so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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