Swine flu. Run for my life!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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