You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
