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I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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