But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
