weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
