there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
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Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
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Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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