you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
