try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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