he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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