who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
