Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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