Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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