when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
