He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
