I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
