So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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