A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize