As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
