People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
