Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
