im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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