His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize