I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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