It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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