she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
