You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
bring money and cleavage
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
