Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
