You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
