dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
