sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
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i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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