google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
