Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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