Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
